After “celebrating” 30 days of deprivation of a few staples, – like work, social relations, driving – interesting effects present themselves:
1) As the present is on stall, I
a) indulge in the past:
I reminisce driving to Ikea all alone, as a form of meditation, to get away from busy days of work.
Getting a bag full of shamelessly artificial candy, and a complimentary cup of loose, watery coffee, sitting on a chair with a Viking name…Aaahhhh.
To my Swedish genes, that’s homecoming.
b) project to the future:
I have this recurrent fantasy of hugging the first post- COVID guests as if they were long lost relatives: til they start wiggling to get loose.
– – – –
2) I enjoy noting how life compensates what I add to it/ remove from it,
by adding and removing something else. Like:
a) To partially compensate my guest-withdrawals, life’s allowing me the time and mind to write posts on FB. It’s my first time.
Anybody out there doing anything for the first time?
Isn’t it a great privilege, at 50 something?
b) As my son is spared the school early wake-up call, he lingers on our sofa/bed long and late enough that I can inexorably close in on him like a Dragon of Komodo, and as soon as he dozes off I can crawl over his size 11 feet and cuddle next to him and pretend he is the little boy who once thought I was almighty.
– – – – – –
3) I am forced to realize that I can actually be WITHOUT a lot.
But now I want to take charge and CHOOSE what I am going to do without. Just for one day. And feel strong for it.
And let life surprise me with how it will adjust and compensate me:
It does that so well.
On my list of challenges:
One day without yeast.
One day without alcohol.
One day without coffee.
One day offline.
One day without screens: Iphone, Ipad, Laptop, TV.
One day without husband (this is a privilege afforded by a large, underpopulated home).
By subtraction, everything else should gain more importance.
And by compensation, going back to WITH will spruce up my appreciation for it.
Can’t wait for the day without husband, so I can look forward to the following day – (while I enjoy the present…; )
The Christian Sunday, the Shabbat of the Jews, the Muslim Friday, are nothing but “the day without”, established by the divinity of choice, to remind us to take it easy, and to be strong and appreciative.